Hey everyone! So, I want to tell you about the week that I had, because it was pretty interesting.

First off, on Monday I went and auditioned for A Christmas Carol at The Hale Theatre in Orem. I had auditioned there in the past for Footloose, and I didn't even make a callback (the first time in my life, actually). Well, after I sang, the music director looked at me and asked, "Did you audition for Fiddler on the Roof last year?" Which I had, at the Scera, so I said so. And she looked at me and said, "I thought I recognized you. You have a beautiful voice." So, I of course thanked her. It made me happy that she remembered me. Then they looked at my resume, and the director noticed that I had gone to Western Wyoming, and he started asking me questions about it. I talked to him about it for a few minutes. And then the musical director kind of looked around and said, "We're calling her back, right?" And the director said, "Yes, we're calling you back." Then one of the other people said, "OK, keep your Saturday morning open. We'll be calling you by Friday to tell you where and when." So, thus, I made callbacks at The Hale.

Then, the rest of the week kind of passed in a blur. I had my first tap class on Wednesday night. It was a lot of fun, and I realized that I remembered more than I thought I would.

Friday we had my roommate's sister's birthday party at our apartment, and it was awesome! But, by the time I went to bed I still hadn't heard anything from the theatre. This was really weird. They had specifically told me they were calling me back, and to just wait for call to say where and when. I couldn't fathom why they would tell me that, and then not call me. And, I'll be honest that I went to bed praying hardcore about it. And, I had set my alarm for around 9 to call the box office and see if they knew anything. And, my last thought as I fell asleep while I was praying about it was, "Everything will work out the way it is supposed to. It will all be OK." Well, I woke up wide awake the next morning around 8:40, or so, and decided to grab the phone book and call the box office and see if they knew anything. I found out by calling that they didn't even open until 10. So, I was sitting on my couch deciding what I should do. I thought about making myself breakfast and then calling at 10. But, then the thought hit me, "I should just go. I should just drive by the theatre and see if anyone is there yet this morning. And talk to them." So, I got dressed really quickly and headed over to the theatre. The parking lot was full, so I went downstairs and talked to the stage manager. I told him what happened, and he said, "Just go in." So, I went in, and they were singing Angels We Have Heard On High in parts. They had probably started around 9:30, and I got there about 9:35. I only got to run the song once before she had us go up in groups of 8, two per part, and sing. So, my callback was only the second time I had ever sang the part. Which was kind of weird. After that she had us all sing it in quartets. Then, she told us she was going to call up people to sing it again in quartets, but that it "didn't mean anything", she just wanted to hear some different combinations. I was one of the two altos that she had sing it again. Then she went in and talked to the director for a few minutes and told us we could go, and that we would hear sometime this next week, and that rehearsals weren't going to start until after the first week in October. Well, I found out later that they told people who had been called back for official parts that we would hear by Monday. And, let me tell you, I think it was Divine Inspiration that told me to just go to the theatre. I'm pretty sure that Someone up there heard my prayers. :)

OK, so, yesterday night I went to FHE up the canyon, where I didn't really have phone service. When we got done, I noticed that I had a missed call and a message from a number I didn't recognize. Because we were in the canyon, I had to wait awhile to be able to get the message. But, when I finally got it, it was the stage manager telling me that they wanted to offer me the part of an alto in the choir. There are only 2 altos in the choir, so that's pretty awesome!

OK, so that is my whole week. It pretty much revolved around the Hale auditions. I hope I haven't bored you all with my story. But, I can tell you that I have a stronger testimony of God listening to and answering our prayers. :)

Wow, I can't believe another week has come and gone already. I feel like it was just Friday yesterday, but, here it is again. Weird. There have been several times this week where I have sat down to write, and then erased everything I have written. It's been quite the week. I have come to some conclusions about myself. First off, when someone hurts me, they don't always mean to. So, I shouldn't take everything that happens as a personal affront to me. Second, no one can make me feel anything I don't want to feel. I am in charge of my own emotions. And, going along with that one, I can decide not to be mad about something. If I just take a second and think before I react, the anger will cool. I know this is probably something most of you learned long ago, but, it took me a long time to learn it. And, I feel like I am a whole different person. Well, kind of, at least. I now know these things, but, it's going to be hard make sure I'm using them all the time.

No One   by Ally & Aj



I am moving through the crowd
Trying to find myself
Feel like a guitar that's never played
Will someone strum away?

[Chorus]
And I ask myself
Who do I wanna be?
Do I wanna throw away the key?
and invent a whole new me
and I tell myself
No One, No One
Don't wanna be
No One
But me..

You are moving through the crowd
Trying to find yourself
Feel like a doll left on a shelf
Will someone take you down?

[Chorus]
And you ask yourself
Who do I wanna be?
Do I wanna throw away the key?
and invent a whole new me
Gotta tell yourself
No One, No One
Don't wanna be
No One
But me..

Your life lays out on the shadows of the wall
You turn the light on to release it all
You wonder what's it's like to not feel worthless
So open all the blinds and turn those curtains

No One, No One
Don't wanna be
No One
But me..

When you're moving through the crowd...

Do you ever have something happen that just makes you question . . . well . . . you? I have been walking around and being totally happy with who I am, what I look like, and my strengths and weaknesses, and today all that changed. Something happened that made me wonder if I am alright the way I am. Should I lose weight? Should I get plastic surgery on my face so I can look like every single model in a magazine? Should I put on airs and pretend that I am better than I actually am? Apparently, I should, because that's what it takes to get anywhere in this world.

OK, so, it's Tuesday, but, essentially it's my Monday after a 3-day weekend. It's kind of weird, because I know it's Tuesday, but my body thinks it's Monday. Oh well, weird.

Anyway, we got two new roommates this weekend, which is going to be interesting. Actually, in the last week we've gotten three new roommates total, so now our apartment is full. This is the first time since last January that we've had a full apartment. We had kind of gotten used to spreading our stuff out, and doing what we liked when we liked. Well, that is going to all change. I'm foreseeing a future of having to schedule events in my apartment weeks in advance. Not used to that. :( Oh well, it will all work out in the end, I guess.

And, guess what! I died my hair again. It's kind of a dark brown color. Now, funny story about that. I went to buy a hair piece for the show I'm in, and they only had two colors, REALLY blonde, or brown. Well, at the time, my hair was kind of a reddish blonde at the time, so, I made a decision to buy a hair piece, and dye my hair to match. Well, I think it turned out alright. I definitely look different. My eyes look even more blue than usual, which is always good.

OK, so, let's talk about my week this week.

So, Monday was actually a pretty good day. I, of course, worked all day, and then I had a show that night. The show went pretty well. My mom and Grandma came, and they really liked it. After, some friends came over and we watched Phantom of the Opera and ate ice cream.

Tuesday, also a pretty good day. At work, the owner came and started talking to me. I was kind of afraid it was going to be a "We'd really like you to leave" talk. Thankfully, it wasn't. He told me that they really like me, and started to talk to me about the new office we are moving into very soon. Also I'd say it was one of the most productive of the week. After work I went home and cleaned until about 11 with my roommate. We were getting a new roommate, so we wanted to make sure our apt looked nice, and that there was room for her in any of the bedrooms. (A side note on this day that will affect the rest of the week. During cleaning we had to unplug my alarm clock and move it. I plugged it back in and set the time.)

So, Wednesday morning dawned bright and early with me lying in my bed thinking about how rested I felt for not getting a lot of sleep. As I was laying there I was wondering what time it was and how long it would be before my alarm went off. So, I put on my glasses and looked at the clock, and I believe the first words out of my mouth were "What the crap? You've gotta be freakin' kidding me!" The clock said that it was 8:54, which means I was almost two hours late to work! Well, the first thing I did was get on my cell phone and call my supervisor. When I told her the story, she just laughed and told me that the same thing happened to her every morning. This made me feel a little better, but, I still was very frustrated. The day after Frank tells me they like me, I go and sleep in. But, because of the extra sleep, I did feel much better and more rested. I'll tell ya, though, I got ready so fast that morning. :)

OK, so, Thursday, all in all it wasn't really a bad day. That is, until I was on the phone with FedEx and started crying. I'm not exactly sure what set me off, but, as I was talking I could feel my face getting hot, and then I started crying. I had to hang up on the lady, and go into my supervisor's office, and she had to finish the call for me, because I couldn't even talk. That was so weird.

Anyway, it's Friday now, and we are about to enter in to a 3-day-weekend, and I'm stoked!

K, here is an article that describes me to a "t".

The Quirkyalone
Loners are the last true romantics
—By Sasha Cagen, To-Do List (www.todolistmagazine.com)
September/October 2000 Issue

I am, perhaps, what you might call deeply single. Almost never ever in a relationship. Until recently, I wondered if there might be something weird about me. But then lonely romantics began to grace the covers of TV Guide and Mademoiselle. From Ally McBeal to Sex in the City, a spotlight came to shine on the forever single. If these shows had touched such a nerve in our culture, I began to think, perhaps I was not so alone after all. The morning after New Year's Eve (another kissless one, of course), a certain jumble of syllables came to me. When I told my friends about my idea, their faces lit up with instant recognition: the quirkyalone.

If Jung was right, that people are different in fundamental ways that drive them from within, then the quirkyalone is simply to be added to the pantheon of personality types collected over the 20th century. Only now, when the idea of marrying at age 20 has become thoroughly passÈ, are we quirkyalones emerging in greater numbers.

We are the puzzle pieces who seldom fit with other puzzle pieces. Romantics, idealists, eccentrics, we inhabit single-dom as our natural resting state. In a world where proms and marriage define the social order, we are, by force of our personalities and inner strength, rebels.

For the quirkyalone, there is no patience for dating just for the sake of not being alone. We want a miracle. Out of millions, we have to find the one who will understand.

Better to be untethered and open to possibility: living for the exhilaration of meeting someone new, of not knowing what the night will bring. We quirkyalones seek momentous meetings.

By the same token, being alone is understood as a wellspring of feeling and experience. There is a bittersweet fondness for silence. All those nights alone--they bring insight.

Sometimes, though, we wonder if we have painted ourselves into a corner. Standards that started out high only become higher once you realize the contours of this existence. When we do find a match, we verge on obsessive--or we resist.

And so, a community of like-minded souls is essential. Since fellow quirkyalones are not abundant (we are probably less than 5 percent of the population), I recommend reading the patron saint of solitude: German poet Rainer Maria Rilke. Even 100 years after its publication, Letters to a Young Poet still feels like it was written for us: "You should not let yourself be confused in your solitude by the fact that there is something in you that wants to break out of it," Rilke writes. "People have (with the help of conventions) oriented all their solutions toward the easy and toward the easiest side of easy, but it is clear that we must hold to that which is difficult."

Rilke is right. Being quirkyalone can be difficult. Everyone else is part of a couple! Still, there are advantages. No one can take our lives away by breaking up with us. Instead of sacrificing our social constellation for the one all-consuming individual, we seek empathy from friends. We have significant others.

And so, when my friend asks me if being quirkyalone is a life sentence, I say, yes, at the core, one is always quirkyalone. But when one quirkyalone finds another, oooh la la. The earth quakes.